G.I. Joe - Rise of Cobra (2009) Review

director: Stephen Summers

writer: Stuart Beattie, David Elliot & Paul Lovett

starring: Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans, Joseph Gordon- Levitt, Christoper Eccleston, Sienna Miller and Dennis Quaid

genre: Action | Sci-Fi

released: August 7, 2009 (U.S.)

based upon: Hasbro's G.I. Joe toy, comic and media franchises 

Never was being a big G.I. Joe fan, even though having played a bit with the toys and seen a little of the animated show. I know enough that the film adaption maintains some key elements of the original material, but distorts greatly almost every crucial element that ever defined what G.I. Joe is. The film manages with these changes to become a laughable farce with a preposterous story and weapon tech right out of "Moonraker".


As we all know the story of G.I Joe is about the fight of the Joe’s against the evil organization Cobra. Here we see the introduction of Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) into the team. They enter after showing their skill against the Baroness (Sienna Miller) men. After that we find out Destro (Christopher Eccleston) true allegiance and who is Cobra Commander (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and what Cobra's purpose and why.


In the film we get numerous character moments which aren't bad. There actually the best part of the film. The problem is the ludicrous plot and zany action. Like I said it’s a preposterous as Moonraker. I never liked super hyped up tech and action. Always thought it was unnecessary. Not that the action is terrible but its never cool nor mind blowing. For its budget everything is pretty standard with super guns and fast tech suits that were pretty lame.

But the biggest problem is some of crazy ideas they had. For example the reason Cobra becomes a psycho scientist is because he saw a code for nano tech that made him realize how to do something. A normal guy, a soldier sees something and automatically he goes loony. Or towards the end of the film Ripcord is in one of Destro's created cobra planes. He can’t fire the weapon so Scarlett (Rachel Nichols) has the idea because Destro is Scottish with Gaelic ancestors he put a vocal password for fire in Gaelic. Really? First who would do that? And second how the hell could you think of that and third why couldn't the writer think of something better.

All these things make Joe into a really bad and laughable film. The only things not terrible about this film is like i said the character moments and some of the acting which is standard except for Nichols and Levitt. They both deserve Razzies for their performances. Sienna Miller on the other hand shows once again that even with an piece of crap film she still can act.


Another Hasbro toy line, another remembered animated show goes down the drain. Any potential to make a Joe film was lost, with putting numb nuts and people who don’t care in charge. Like Transformers here we see the mutilation of our childhood from Hollywood on different projects. Let’s just see how He-Man, Thundercats and another Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film do. Because after this and who could really have faith in Hollywood.

Personal Rating:


review by Paul Katsaros

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